「抄襲一張履歷表」-(抄襲老闆的要求)
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May 18, 2011 by colorful
這裡,分享一篇觀點相當有趣的文章~ 中文原文出處

作者認為在工作不多的時候,最好的方式或許是「抄襲一張履歷表」(Plagiarizing a Resume)。

抄襲別人的履歷表?哪裡找來別人的履歷表呢?

讀下去才發現,他說的並不是抄襲「別的求職者的履歷表」,而是抄襲「老闆的要求」。

什麼意思?

從前的履歷表專家,強調的皆是發揮各人的特色,找到自己的核心能力,針對雇主需求來包裝。由於這中間的事情實在蠻瑣碎,所以職涯專家就可以從中賺錢、當人家的職涯顧問、幫忙代刀履歷表。但現在,「NO MORE!」這位專欄作家認為,不必這麼麻煩了,各位的履歷表不需要再有「創意」了!我們「抄」老闆的要求就好了!他建議是說,履歷表應該完完全全照著雇主所言的打造,如果雇主的徵才啟示寫著「兩年經驗的Java工程師,熱情、負責、認真」,你就一字一句的照著寫,「我是一個三年經驗的Java工程師,熱情、負責、認真」,一題一題的乖乖回答,乖乖的「照著回答」。

如此厚顏的「抄抄抄」!總之,無論雇主提出什麼要求,直接將這個同樣的問題,「剪貼」到自己履歷表裡。他舉例,譬如美式履歷表喜歡擺一個「目的」(Objective)在履歷表的頭部,以前人家都教我們,這個Objective應該只要寫個兩句就好,將自己的能力與豪情壯志在短短兩句話內說完!但這個專欄作家則建議,應該只寫一句,而且只寫「我來應徵熱情、認真、負責的Java工程師職位」,不必廢話!

在歐美,提出這麼一個「履歷表應照抄」的看法,和主流價值大異其趣,每一個專家都在倡導無盡的創意,每一篇報導都認為履歷表也要「創意致勝」。這位專欄作家形容上周加拿大電視台剛好訪談到履歷表專家,那位專家也說,履歷表不是關於「你自己」,而是關於「老闆」。當專家這樣講的時候,電視台主播還嚇了一跳!

為什麼要「抄老闆要求」?

簡單,只是為了把握住每次的機會而已--

如果現在僱主已經變少了,那,每一次的機會便更形重要。自己的履歷表,一定要對住「老闆的胃口」!而老闆的胃口,我們永遠無法完全揣測,無法靠一個感覺就猜對;如果因為老闆說他要一個「熱情」的人,而你來面試時就裝一付「過度熱情」的模樣,反而會有「扣分」的效果。那,應該帶著幾分熱情?老闆不會講,也不可能告訴你,最安全的方式就是「完全模仿他的語言」。

雇主說的語言和員工不同,而雇主只會聽他所習慣的語言。在雇主說明他想徵求什麼樣的人,他其實早就已經透露了他的語言、他的腔調!我們只是改了幾個字,和對方要的東西可能就完全不一樣了。

再者,公司方也比較保守一點,雇主的時間變少了、人力資源的人手說不定也變少了,而且有可能是要淘汰現有的員工換成更好的,所以,雇主渴才急切,更會將他們心目中的理想員工的特質全都寫在上面。別以為那「熱情、認真、負責」只是隨便講講而已,那幾個字,每個字都是老闆心中的吶喊。他太想找到帶著答案的人,以致於已經把答案都透露出來了!那你說,如果每個人都照著雇主的文字抄襲,那不就每個人的履歷表都長得一模一樣?答案是,因為沒人敢這樣做,說不定你的履歷表就因此成為最合乎需求的履歷表!

這篇文章蠻有意思,我也想到其他關於「履歷表指導網站」的機會。看,目前在美國幫別人做履歷表的相關網站包括Razume、 ResumeBucket、Emurse、VisualCV、ResumeSocial、Gigtide、Howtowritearesume、 Ziggs等等,它們皆為幫人建立公開的履歷表,它們主要的新概念不乏以下幾種,一種是幫人們自我宣傳,一種是和其他人分享並得到其他人的回饋。包括最近開始有一些「找到自己的方向」的網站像「Path101」,讓你先考一份30分鐘的考試,就知道自己的潛力在哪裡等等。他們跑來要幫你做一張完美的履歷表,其實都是在幫「你」來做事。以這篇文章的邏輯來看,有哪一家線上履歷表服務,是幫你去「配合某些雇主」的?

或者,是以「雇主」貼出的需求為「正確答案」,動態的去服務應徵者?譬如,某種「履歷表生成機」,可以拿你的履歷表,再去根據市場上你要的職缺,從雇主公開的徵才廣告中去整合出一些關鍵的形容詞或經驗形容,最後結果是一張更有效的履歷表?

在這樣的服務出來以前,每個寫履歷表的求職者或許真的可以再多推敲一下每則徵才廣告的意義,畢竟,頻率愈對,老闆看到愈少的雜訊,愈看得到我們的價值。

以下為原文(出處)~

作者為加拿大的新聞作家Benjamin Tawiah
A journalist. He lives in Ottawa, Ontario
mail: btawiah@hotmail.com, quesiquesi@hotmail.co.uk

Opinion: ‘In A Recession, A Plagiarised Resume Is Probably The Best’

Most professions are conspiracies against the laity. Well, I don’t mean to put it literally, because many professionals have expert knowledge of what they profess. Probably with the exception of journalists who pretend to know nearly everything, most experts give us reason to believe in their recommendations. So, when an employment counsellor advised me to pretend that plagiarism is the most important virtue on earth when preparing a resume, I had reason to believe the words of the good-looking 24 year old blonde. And she was categorical: “Forget all the warnings you received about plagiarism when you were in school; you are answering to every qualification the job advert has asked for, in the same order.” In other words, the job description, the years of experience and the academic qualifications required, are the considerations that should inform the making of a resume. At that point, you are simply filling in the details in the order the employer had advertised. “That is what they are looking for, so give them all that in the order they asked. If that is plagiarism, then that is exactly what you want to do,” she opined. That made sense, because I had heard a similar comment on primetime TV in Canada the previous week. A Resume Doctor had told a morning show host that a resume is about the employer, and not the applicant. The television host was stunned and asked the CV expert to explain the ‘gaffe’. The expert reiterated the same concerns my employment counsellor made. The employer wants the person who speaks their language. They want you to be part of their team. They want you to tailor your skills and achievements to meet their demands. So, the CV is about them; not you. He also imploded one myth about the cover letter: It is not as important as the resume. Employers would rather you gave them a CV without a cover letter than a cover letter without a CV.

Plagiarism is not exactly a good thing in any area of human endeavour. On a good day, the word plagiarism would mean appropriation, borrowing, counterfeiting, fraud, piracy and theft. So we can conveniently say that anybody who plagiarises is a thief, even if a brilliant one. Even on a very bad day, plagiarism wouldn’t be a good thing, except, perhaps in stand up comedies, where originality is as important as in the preparation of an academic journal in a traditional Christian university. Plagiarism is not a word you would gladly invite into your dictionary, especially if you are not an armed robber. Well, modern human resource professionals are giving us reason to multitask (a word that has become very popular in employment circles) by borrowing freely from job adverts or using them as templates to fill in our employment details. Your job objective should be nothing more than the position you are applying for. And it should be the first item on the resume after your personal details. So, a typical job objective could be as simple as: Seeking a position as Marketing Assistant. It is even spot on if you add the name of the employer, as in ‘Seeking a position as Marketing Assistant in Johnson and Johnson Co’. That tells them exactly what you are looking for. Compare this with what I had on my CV before when I was in England: “A high-flying graduate calibre with the intellectual curiosity necessary for excelling in marketing, administration and project management.” It seems to say something good but it is all mumbled up. Employers do not have time to dine on a cocktail of adjectives, to make sense of out complex, winding sentences. A line may be all they want to read. Besides, they have hundreds of resumes to read. Yours is not special until they have seen that special thing they are looking for.

These days, looking for a job (different from a career) is so much of a job that you wonder whether job seekers have any energy left to do anything when they finally get the dream job. In times of recession, as we are experiencing presently, job-hunting becomes an occupation, because it occupies your whole being. There are probably as many job websites as there are charismatic churches. From www.businessghana.com to www.mosnter.com, there are too many job advertisements looking for professionals of every stripe to fill various positions. The websites are beautifully designed. They also give the indication that the job ads are constantly updated with new openings. The publications come with the names of the recruiter, detailed job descriptions and sometimes the salaries the positions promise. The positions look so juicy that you would think that they would roll out of the internet onto your bosom when you make an application. The application process is usually a laborious one, requiring elaborate answers to simple questions. Before you are asked to upload your resume, you would have already created the employer’s version of your CV. Perhaps, this confirms the CV Doctor’s point that a resume is about the employer, not the employee. Sometimes, you would not even need to upload a resume, because many well-established companies have downloadable application forms that require comprehensive information from job applicants. It would in most cases seek information you would not have on Your CV.

It is not clear whether the sudden ‘professionalisation’ of the recruitment market has made job hunting easier or more difficult. To get a winnable CV, you may have to pay some $200 to a career expert, to show you the ingredients employers want to see in a good CV. Usually, the money has to be paid with a credit card. You would think the experts would help you get a job first with the ‘killer’ CV before they have you pop champagne on your first salary. But these are not charity organisations; resume experts are a new brand of human resource professionals who make a living writing great resumes and coaching job seekers on what to say at interviews. And they know their stuff. In just two minutes, my 24 year old consultant showed me important things that I had ignored in my CV for the past two years. For instance, she introduced me to the functional and combination resumes as the most effective way for a job seeker who does not have a lot of experience to sell his skills. The functional CV emphasises your skills, usually neatly presented in the first paragraph after your job objective. You don’t have enough to say about your work history, so your skills are what you want to highlight. This kind of CV is also good for a jobseeker new to a location where employers demand job experiences obtained from that location. So, as an immigrant new to Canada, with bits and pieces of job experiences here and there, reflecting a prostitution with jobs rather than a marriage with employers, the functional CV is really functional. And so far, it has been functioning well for me. At least, I have not had my CV returned to me by a recruitment agency. I have also not received any advice from any human resource manager suggesting that I should get help when preparing my CV next time.

These CV doctors work like pharmacists who sell Viagra: They tell you how it works but they don’t get it to work, otherwise many modern children will trace their parentage to pharmacy shops, especially those in the corners of town. A Killer CV is a dead weapon in the hands of a buffoon. It will kill him, instead of the human resource manager. The experts only advise and coach job seekers on how to say what they want to say. The rest is between them and their God, in this case your preparation. Professional CV writers operate under different sexy titles. They are generally called CV experts, but their names are quite revealing. There are CV Clinics, Resume Laboratories, Resume Doctors, CV Centres and many more. These are licensed professionals working in posh offices. They are usually friendly, young and beautiful, especially the women, most of whom are blonde. Well, there are brunettes, too. Their services may vary in style but one thing is certain: They have something to sell, and they adopt one strategy: everybody’s CV is bad until they have seen it. They can always add to a good CV. That is their job.

If the writing of the modern CV has become a profession, the preparation for today’s job interview is almost a career. The phrase technology-driven may sound like a cliché, but it gives an apt description to the kind of interviews conducted these days. And unlike Shakespearean tragedies where the entire story of the tragic hero takes place in just one day, interviews these days could last for a week. I have already had two telephone interviews for a single job, as well as a video conferencing that saw me sitting in front of a large screen, interacting with company representatives in another province in Canada. The venture was my first, and it was as intimidating as every Finance minister’s first budget reading, especially if he is not on the majority side of the House. The thought that my interviewers were thousands of miles away made me assume the disposition of a cuckolded husband. I still have the main face to face interview to attend in two weeks, but before then, I have to meet my line manager for a personal chat, which I suspect will be an interview, because he is not my personal friend. You would think I was interviewing for the mayor of the city of Ottawa, but all I am going to get is a communications and policy assistant. If I get the job, I will use my policy portfolio to change their policy on long, hi-tech interviews. It sucks, as they say here in Canada.

Well, mine is not as miserable as a professor friend in the USA who is looking for a college to teach chemistry. The poor old man had to spend a whole week on the campus of the prospective employer, presenting a lecture on teaching methodology, subject content, teaching philosophy etc. They funded his accommodation and gave him some good food. It happened that the good food has become a good consolation because he didn’t get the job. So, now, he is like a troubadour, travelling from one college to another, eating good food and trying hard not to find a teaching post. I have recommended the functional CV for him, just that I don’t think the man himself is functional at forty-eight.

Perhaps, the recession is making things difficult for everybody, including those who would have had no jobs anyway, whether in a recession or indeed the Great depression, because they would not make a good impression. Job seekers ought to appreciate that the dynamics of the times demand new ways of thinking. Whoever thought plagiarism would ever become a good thing? But here you are, reading a plagiarised article from a job seeker who would not concentrate on his search for a communications job. He wants to make the impression that he can multitask, writing and hunting for jobs. Well, my consultant tells me that it is important to leave a good impression, especially if it is your first opportunity. But the impression itself is not as important as the way you leave it. In the end, your attitude, even in job hunting, counts a lot. Having a bad attitude is like an octopus on roller skates: There are lots of movements but there is no clear direction.